About Me

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London, United Kingdom
Greetings, Thank you for stopping by my little space on the World Wide Web. My blog is intended to be a friendly, informative space where you can pick up tips and tricks. I am Dani and 25 years old. Just like most other twenty somethings I thought I had a life plan after university and planned to take my Broadcast Journalism degree to the city. However, things do not happen like that as in my final year I learned I was pregnant and would be facing it alone. My blog covers the ups and downs without sugar coating (although i do love sugar). Finishing a degree and starting a master with a two month old baby was hard and I intend to cover all aspects of the unexpectedness and unconventional start of my family. I am in a place where I could not be happier with my family; Jack, Alexander and baby bear in my tummy. I will concentrate on my pregnancy, getting back in shape, diet and exercise and pulling it all together with no sleep. Alongside, I also plan to share my personal wedding planning journey. . Having worked as an Event manager I am thrilled to be organising my own wedding. I plan to do most of it myself and will talk you through DIY tips and tricks.

Thursday 27 April 2017

Postpartum Weight Loss

Hello all,

As vein as it sounds, I have always worried about weight loss after having a baby. The first time round I had convinced myself I would have a ouch forever. I spent countless days and nights researching the best ways and tactics to lose weight. The second time I was more confident but still had that worry.

Here are my solutions and what I did to lose my pregnancy weight. I put on three stone whilst being pregnant.

Postpartum Girdle

I sourced two off amazon. The first one I had was much like a corset and very rigid. I found it quite uncomfortable so would do two hours a day before switching

The second one was much more comfortable.

Click here

The best thing about the girdle is that it holds everything in. You can adjust the tightness. I took mine to the hospital and as soon as I had given birth and got up I put it on. I really feel like it has been a key component in getting your stomach back.

Clay Wrap

I bought the sanctuary clay wrap the first time and second time bought Amazonian clay of amazon and used warm bandages. This draws out water and toxins which helps lose some of that water weight you carry during and after pregnancy. Exfoliate a lot to encourage the skin to 'bounce' back.

Breastfeeding

Another key to my weight loss. I know not everybody can feed and it is individual choice. Starting your day on minus 500 calories helps hugely. In fact, after six months with my firstborn I struggled to  keep weight on due to always being on the go and feeding.

Exercises

After the first week of giving birth I did certain gentle exercises. These include the pelvic tilt, pelvic floor lifts and pelvic bicycles. I can give more information on these. The point is tilting the pelvis and holding it for 3-5 seconds to begin to correct the daisis recti. Drawing these muscles back in is the first most important thing to do.

After six weeks I started going to mum and baby pilates and yoga. This again helps with toning, balance, strength and drawing everything back together. All these things are thrown off during pregnancy. Four months later these are the only exercises I do. I usually do pilates twice a week and yoga once. I also walk everyday and concentrate on engaging my core.

Day before giving birth


Day after giving birth


Day three




Day ten postpartum 
 Four months postpartum 



Wednesday 1 March 2017

My Story About Work - What Happened?



Today I am taking you down a pretty person route on the blog. I have been pretty nervous to share this post but I feel it is important for other women and girls who have been manipulated in employment. Work should be a space where you can achieve and enjoy the work you do.

I was working at a company as an Event Manager ( I will not say names for legal reasons). It was a very close knit company and I quickly became friends with the staff and Managing Director (we would all socialise and the director had children too so there was instantly a bond). After a couple of months the friendship started to change resulting in a situation where he took me out of work to express feelings. This put me in a tricky position and I deliberated leaving although (stupidly) decided against it due to thinking 'it will go away'. The only person above me in the company was the MD and we had no HR team to go to as it is a small company. 

My time became more challenging as if said no I felt it was taken out on me unfairly professionally by suddenly not doing meetings meaning I was loosing out on commission etc so I made a choice to try to manage the situation at a difficult time in my life. By managing, I attempted to divert the advances by saying 'I do not engage in relationships and the workplace and I am in a relationship'. At the same time I was in a horrible position due to his extremely turbulent home life where he would tell me I was all he had and so every time I attempted to reject the advances he would fall off the rails at work.  I just hoped to last it out for one year and leave as I found the work environment was extremely unprofessional and I had to make difficult choices to be able to get commission and a decent pay.

My engagement was lovely, romantic and all I could have ever dreamed about despite the pregnancy sickness. When I returned to work I found I was totally shunned and ignored and treated with complete disrespect. This was one of the most unhappy weeks I have been through - everyday dragged on and I felt so down and alone. I would cry at work in the bathroom and come home and spend the rest of the night in bed crying. Other employees suddenly were distant - I am guessing it is because they didn't want to be next in a company which has a history of 'firing' employees.  Other instances had happened during my time at the company where the MD had shouted, screamed and sworn at some of the employees and completely flown off the handle that everyone felt incredibly scared to be around. There was constantly a blame culture especially in the office due to the fight for sales and commission - you literally had to stay in his good books or you would be taken off meetings/ jobs.

I decided to try to resolve the situation and arranged a meeting where i found out that I was under a capability assessment which may result in the termination of my employment for unauthorized internet and phone use. Nobody else was receiving an assessment for their web of phone use despite everyone using sites for non-work related things highlighting the complete inconsistency in the workplace targeting me. The meeting quickly went from bad to worse when I tried to point out that I felt constantly harassed on the phone from him and it is unfair to take my engagement out on me professionally. This was just met with 'are you threatening me' and i could see where this was going. Suddenly I was taken off jobs and told that 'he didn't respect me anymore' as a result of my engagement. The capability meeting has been trumped up in light of my engagement and I had consistently hit sales targets and praised for my performance.

Not only that my internet history had been checked and I was alerted to the fact that I was hiding something which resulted in me having to announce my pregnancy earlier than i had wanted to as i had googled sickness relief and pregnancy related content. I was being sick often throughout the day and barely eating. Furthermore, we all used to go out together (company culture) and suddenly I wasn't drinking on nights out and through a 'cocktail making' training session making it more and more obvious. I was also aware of another girl he employed who got pregnant and was dismissed for sudden 'bad performance'  Needless to say I went home feeling threatened and scared at a time where I was feeling very unwell day-to-day.

The maternity is a protected right once you announce that you are pregnant, however, I was waiting for my first scan like many do before announcing it. Furthermore, it is very hard to prove once an employer decides they take necessary actions and control to prevent it being seen as this reason. Click here for more information on maternity and discrimination rights in the workplace


That day i went home and never went back. I was very unwell at the time and couldn't face getting out of bed let along trying to justify my internet use. I should have gone down a legal road with evidence of unfair treatment and unprofessionalism by somebody in power. I didn't due to the fact I got very depressed and stressed I just wanted to get out and not have to think about it. As a result I completely sacrificed my maternity leave and was left jobless. 

I have never felt so vulnerable or down. I wish to raise more awareness for other girls in the workplace that are put in such a compromising position. It is so hard to know how to handle it especially when somebody has complete control over your work and pay. I think that there needs to be a change in employment law as any work under two years is easy for an employer to dismiss you and somebody in power has full control over you. They feel like they have nothing to lose back by 24/7 legal teams. Speaking with others I know I am no an isolated incident both through the advances made by someone in a position of power and dismissal that seems to be (in my own opinion) linked to pregnancy.

What I propose is a legal trade union for all workers not just in government workers but all workers. The trade unions should represent you at tribunal and tribunal should be free again so not to deter people like me who would have gone if it had not been such a huge cost to take on to go to tribunal let alone legal representation.

Here's some food for thought:
- What do you do if there is no HR in a company?
- What do you do if somebody in power has all control over your emails, pay, grievance process and outcome? The staff and evidence can be completely manipulated?
- How are you meant to afford high legal and tribunal costs?
- How do you manage the fat any witnesses work for the person causing you trouble so will not come forward?
- At a time when you are most vulnerable how can you justify the stress and time it will take to come out at any conclusion? If you were to win how much would you actually get and would it be worth the stress? In my case the only way I would have been able to proceed is no win to fee which usually take the majority of the legal costs at the end.

Click here to read up on harassment in the workplace, discrimination and constructive dismissal.





Birth Story - Ana Beaa

Hello,

Today I am sharing my birth story with you all! So as you know from my previous post I had OC and was being induced as it was unsafe for the baby. I had a sweep on Monday 24th October and contractions started. They were roughly every twenty minutes until the Wednesday when I started to get them even more frequently! I was only 3cm dilated throughout the duration. On Wednesday we arrived at hospital for my schedules induction.

The delivery room was busy so we spent the day on the antenatal ward being monitored and trying to sleep. By now the contractions were getting stronger although no pattern nor progress! Eventually at 12.45am Thursday morning we were told there was space on delivery ward to get my waters broken. We were told this would probably end up in walking round for two hours before going on the hormone drip.

We headed to delivery where my waters were broken. Five minutes later I had the most intense contraction ever and her head came dropping down. I asked for an epidural at this point having had a previous quick delivery. My contractions came almost back to back from that point. Jack and I were in the room and I went for gas and air (something I didn't want as it makes me sick and dizzy) ! Suddenly I felt like I was pushing. Jack called for the midwife and the babies head was crowning. The next twenty minutes were the most painful excruciating thing I never want to experience again. It was too late for the epidural and I was having back contractions (hope you never have these as they are the most painful type typical of quick labour). She came out at 1.55am. The after contractions were terrible which I had for another two hours.

The moments following the birth were not the best. I was in immense pain from the whole ordeal. After three hours or so I have enough energy to fight the pain and properly be with my new bundle of joy. She was utter perfection. Below is a photo










Born 27th October at 6 pounds 7 with no pain relief. In the days following she dropped down to 5 pounds 15. She was the tiniest thing I have ever held and fit in the palm of my hand.

We have name our baby girl Anastasia Beatrice, Ana- Be a for short.

Monday 24 October 2016

38 Weeks - Induction

Hello everyone,

Just got back from the hospital (after spending numerous hours in and out over the last few days) and found out that firstly I definitely have cholestasis and will be induced on Wednesday. Feeling pretty over whelmed right now it is so surreal. So 8.30am Wednesday we will go in if things haven't kicked off alrea

dy (had a sweep and already 3cm dilated). Then we will have the induction and baby (no name) will be here.

So since i last posted I ended up going to the triage on Thursday where it was detected that my bile levels had risen significantly. I also had an iron transfusion today due to seriously low iron which could be dangerous through birth. As soon as the midwife heard I was 38 weeks she said ' you are need to be induced ASAP' so looks like we will have an October baby not November. The reason for this is the bile can be dangerous for the baby and increase the risk of stillborn.

Trying to keep everything as normal as possible for Alexander. He thinks he is going for a sleepover at Mama and Papa's on Wednesday. Will see how long it takes and then at some point when I am in active labour they will make the call to let him know. Have a present packed in my bag from 'the baby'.


Here are some last picture of the bump.



Wish me luck. I am super nervous. My growth scan estimated 5 pounds 8 (last week and they grow approx 1 pound a week) so she may be smaller than Alexander who came out at 8 pounds of awesomeness.




Tuesday 18 October 2016

Nursery Reveal and 37 Week Update

Hey friends,

It's been a while since I last posted. We have all been very busy with Alexanders new founded social life,  house DIY and spending quality time together as a three.

Health and wellbeing 

The itchiness has been gradually getting worse and bile levels higher each week. This is linked to a condition named Obstetric Cholestasis which starts in late pregnancy and can be dangerous for the baby. Click here for more information on OC.  I have been told I could be induced at any point now which prompted a massive panic weekend of preparation. I am glad to say I am all ready just waiting on hearing from the midwife. Apart from that I am pretty uncomfortable and finding it difficult to sleep at night. Thank god for daytime naps.

Mood 

I feel very positive! I started local NCT class (something I missed out on with Alexander) which has helped. Alexander has been showing signs that he is a bit unsettled  (clingy) so been trying to focus on him and spending time!  He is so very helpful and loved preparing his baby sisters room! He keeps asking for cuddles and kisses so I keep reassuring him. He has been having a few random tantrums especially when we leave for "baby class". He is an absolute superstar though and is so caring and kind natured. My heart bursts every time I get him from school and he smiles and runs up to me. Below is an article I read and sums up how I am feeling and how we are all doing this together side by side.

Click here http://www.baby.co.uk/mum_stories/a-letter-to-my-toddler-as-he-becomes-a-big-brother/#prclt-vA3Y1IRH

House 

We have been busy trying change to study into the nursery which has led to us doing a renovation project upstairs to make a new study and master suite. At the moment things are a bit of a mess however we hope to finish by Christmas! I am loving the autumn vibe, pies, candles and cosy night evenings under the blanket.












That's how things are coming along. I plan to do a what's in my hospital bag and essentials post in the next few days. 

Love Dani 




Thursday 15 September 2016

Pink Baby Shower

Hey,

I celebrated my baby shower last weekend as well as my little boys first day at school. It was a busy week!

For my baby shower I started preparing on Wednesday. Firstly I kitted the place in Pink! Then I got games/party ideas off the internet. Most of my games came from Amazon.

Food-wise:

I did a 'Taco Bar' with Taco shells acting as cots. I made a massive slow cooked chilli con carne, cheese fondue, guacamole, soured cream, peppers and veg and bread and nachos. It was a help yourself deal.

Dessert:

Jack and I made an epic cake (see photos below with stages). I also did a sweetie station. Inside the cake was a milk bottle meant to be the next person to have a baby. funny enough my son got it which is pretty accurate as his baby sister is due in less than two months.

Drinks: 

I made four varieties of non-alcoholic cocktails. These were Pina Colada, Damson and orange punch, Fruit Punch and Pink lemonade.

Entertainment: 

The games we played were
- Facts about Mummy
- Blindfolded nappy change
- Baby Shower Charades
- Guess whose baby image
- Stick The Dummy blindfolded
- Baby shower predictions (with a prize after for who was closest). This one is great as have them all to look at.
- I also had baby ice melts with first one melting shouting 'my waters broke'. I didn't get round to playing this game.

Favours:

I made little favour packets with candles for everyone to light on the night she is born. I also put pink bonbon and sweets in the packs.

Theme and Dress:

The theme was pink. I put on the invitation IMPRESS
IM- Bring an Image
P- PINK- Wear something Pink
ESS- DREss

I wore a tight fitted dress which was deep red. I had a clashing Pink sash saying 'yummy mummy to be'




Decor 









Cake 


Games 



What did you do for your baby shower? Really enjoyed planning mine :)

Tuesday 6 September 2016

31 Week Update

Gosh! 31 Weeks.


Health and Cravings

I found out that i am really quite anaemic. This comes as no surprise as I am anaemic at the best of times. I am now on three iron tablets a day!

On top of that my anaemia is linked to something called Pica disease which explains my ice cravings. I literally am getting through four trays (or more) a day. Pica is common during pregnancy and those with low iron. It should go away after. It also explains my obsession with smells such as bleach, steam, hoovers, london tube, laundry bathroom flash etc. I am addicted to these smells (more than usual) it is actually quite weird. I feel like my iron tablets are my 'crazy pills' and I am hoping they will kick in.

Mood

My mood is all good and positive. I am starting to organise things. Been doing loads of DIY restorations on baby items such as wardrobe, cot, dresser etc. Also planning our new master suite which I am thrilled with the design.

This week

My baby boy starts school. I cannot believe he is four years old! He looks just adorable in his uniform and hat. I know i am going to cry on his first day but need to hold it together for him. Gosh I have spent the last four months working from home and with him everyday. Cannot believe he will be going off. I also keep getting these waves of sadness that it is not going to be just three of us and that he will have to share me. I know my heart will just stretch for both of them and I am so excited yet part of me feels like I will lose this special connection with my boy.

This week will also mark my baby shower. My very PINK baby shower. I am so excited for it. Been planning food and games as every self-respecting event manager would.

That is all to update. Check out the photos below.