My Story About Work - What Happened?

Today I am taking you down a pretty person route on the blog. I have been pretty nervous to share this post but I feel it is important for other women and girls who have been manipulated in employment. Work should be a space where you can achieve and enjoy the work you do.

I was working at a company as an Event Manager ( I will not say names for legal reasons). It was a very close knit company and I quickly became friends with the staff and Managing Director (we would all socialise and the director had children too so there was instantly a bond). After a couple of months the friendship started to change resulting in a situation where he took me out of work to express feelings. This put me in a tricky position and I deliberated leaving although (stupidly) decided against it due to thinking 'it will go away'. The only person above me in the company was the MD and we had no HR team to go to as it is a small company. 

My time became more challenging as if said no I felt it was taken out on me unfairly professionally by suddenly not doing meetings meaning I was loosing out on commission etc so I made a choice to try to manage the situation at a difficult time in my life. By managing, I attempted to divert the advances by saying 'I do not engage in relationships and the workplace and I am in a relationship'. At the same time I was in a horrible position due to his extremely turbulent home life where he would tell me I was all he had and so every time I attempted to reject the advances he would fall off the rails at work.  I just hoped to last it out for one year and leave as I found the work environment was extremely unprofessional and I had to make difficult choices to be able to get commission and a decent pay.

My engagement was lovely, romantic and all I could have ever dreamed about despite the pregnancy sickness. When I returned to work I found I was totally shunned and ignored and treated with complete disrespect. This was one of the most unhappy weeks I have been through - everyday dragged on and I felt so down and alone. I would cry at work in the bathroom and come home and spend the rest of the night in bed crying. Other employees suddenly were distant - I am guessing it is because they didn't want to be next in a company which has a history of 'firing' employees.  Other instances had happened during my time at the company where the MD had shouted, screamed and sworn at some of the employees and completely flown off the handle that everyone felt incredibly scared to be around. There was constantly a blame culture especially in the office due to the fight for sales and commission - you literally had to stay in his good books or you would be taken off meetings/ jobs.

I decided to try to resolve the situation and arranged a meeting where i found out that I was under a capability assessment which may result in the termination of my employment for unauthorized internet and phone use. Nobody else was receiving an assessment for their web of phone use despite everyone using sites for non-work related things highlighting the complete inconsistency in the workplace targeting me. The meeting quickly went from bad to worse when I tried to point out that I felt constantly harassed on the phone from him and it is unfair to take my engagement out on me professionally. This was just met with 'are you threatening me' and i could see where this was going. Suddenly I was taken off jobs and told that 'he didn't respect me anymore' as a result of my engagement. The capability meeting has been trumped up in light of my engagement and I had consistently hit sales targets and praised for my performance.

Not only that my internet history had been checked and I was alerted to the fact that I was hiding something which resulted in me having to announce my pregnancy earlier than i had wanted to as i had googled sickness relief and pregnancy related content. I was being sick often throughout the day and barely eating. Furthermore, we all used to go out together (company culture) and suddenly I wasn't drinking on nights out and through a 'cocktail making' training session making it more and more obvious. I was also aware of another girl he employed who got pregnant and was dismissed for sudden 'bad performance'  Needless to say I went home feeling threatened and scared at a time where I was feeling very unwell day-to-day.

The maternity is a protected right once you announce that you are pregnant, however, I was waiting for my first scan like many do before announcing it. Furthermore, it is very hard to prove once an employer decides they take necessary actions and control to prevent it being seen as this reason. Click here for more information on maternity and discrimination rights in the workplace

That day i went home and never went back. I was very unwell at the time and couldn't face getting out of bed let along trying to justify my internet use. I should have gone down a legal road with evidence of unfair treatment and unprofessionalism by somebody in power. I didn't due to the fact I got very depressed and stressed I just wanted to get out and not have to think about it. As a result I completely sacrificed my maternity leave and was left jobless. 

I have never felt so vulnerable or down. I wish to raise more awareness for other girls in the workplace that are put in such a compromising position. It is so hard to know how to handle it especially when somebody has complete control over your work and pay. I think that there needs to be a change in employment law as any work under two years is easy for an employer to dismiss you and somebody in power has full control over you. They feel like they have nothing to lose back by 24/7 legal teams. Speaking with others I know I am no an isolated incident both through the advances made by someone in a position of power and dismissal that seems to be (in my own opinion) linked to pregnancy.

What I propose is a legal trade union for all workers not just in government workers but all workers. The trade unions should represent you at tribunal and tribunal should be free again so not to deter people like me who would have gone if it had not been such a huge cost to take on to go to tribunal let alone legal representation.

Here's some food for thought:
- What do you do if there is no HR in a company?
- What do you do if somebody in power has all control over your emails, pay, grievance process and outcome? The staff and evidence can be completely manipulated?
- How are you meant to afford high legal and tribunal costs?
- How do you manage the fat any witnesses work for the person causing you trouble so will not come forward?
- At a time when you are most vulnerable how can you justify the stress and time it will take to come out at any conclusion? If you were to win how much would you actually get and would it be worth the stress? In my case the only way I would have been able to proceed is no win to fee which usually take the majority of the legal costs at the end.

Click here to read up on harassment in the workplace, discrimination and constructive dismissal.